leanne lee

Why, hello March.

Can you believe it? We're already into the 3rd month of the year and time is continuously passing by super fast. I'm still trying to register the fact that two months has already passed by and without doubt, it has definitely been an eventful two months. Whenever I reflect on what has happened the entire year, my memory tends to fail me and I find this really sad because I know that a lot has happened. I decided to challenge myself this year to simply reflect on the entire month as it comes to an end and journal what I have learned or am thankful for each month. The reason behind this is so that I will learn to appreciate things around me more and to one day be able to look back and see how much I have grown as an individual/just to laugh at stupid Leanne moments. Another reason that prompted me to do this is the fact that I want to remember the lessons learned through good and bad times (so that I won't repeat the same mistakes because I tend to that unintentionally) and to set little reminders that will continuously remind me that I am blessed in whatever season I go through in life. So yeah!

I just wanna simply appreciate those who have been in my life up until now through this post and to share with you guys how they have ended 2016 and started 2017 with so much love, happiness and all things good. confetti emoji

F A M I L Y

The ones who love me for who I am.

The ones who still put up with me during annoying Leanne moments.

The ones who have journeyed with me through thick and thin.

The ones who still care even at times when I am distant.

The ones who teach me how life kinda works and does life with me.

The ones who are pretty much stuck with me for the rest of their lives, heh.

F R I E N D S

The ones who have been there through the ups and downs.

The ones who have taught me valuable life lessons.

The ones who can also put up with me.

The ones who laugh at my jokes even when it's not funny.

The ones who I can always count on.

The ones who are honest.

L I F E

I am thankful for how faithful, loving and amazing God has been.

I am thankful for the people He has placed in my life to help me grow and stretch me as a person and spiritually.

I am thankful for every season I have gone through and have yet to come.

I am thankful for being able to live each day.

I am thankful for definitely being blessed with the best.

These are a few of the many things I appreciate them for and I know I have a whole lot more to be thankful for. <3 I also realised how I do not have proper pictures with a few people who are equally as important in my life, so shoutout to you! You know who you are and if you are reading this, we need a picture/pictures together.

PS. I got my results on the 27th of February and I did better than expected for my first semester, with 3 Distinctions and 1 Pass. The Pass kinda pulled down my average but I had a pretty hard time with the subject and the lecturer was pretty strict, ah well. Nevertheless, I am super happy and PRAISE THE LORD for seeing me through my first semester. Started Uni on the 28th of February and I forgot how to brain. The nerd in me decided to start marking down the due dates for each assignment and I started panicking. Calmed myself by marking down the dates for semester breaks. Pretty scared and excited with how this semester is going to turn out!

♥

"Woah. Pause. Is it just me or is time just flying by super fast? Christmas is right around the corner and right after that we'll be saying goodbye to 2016 and hello to 2017."

So I guess you can kinda guess how long this post has been sitting in my drafts. I forgot that it was even in there. *guilty* Not gonna delay or explain my absence like how I would usually start my blog posts. Just gonna jump right into it and update you guys about what's been happening!

P A R T 1

I recently just finished my first semester and am currently on semester break which is ending in a week's time.

SIDE NOTE:

To those who plan to go to Monash University in Malaysia, I would not recommend going for the October intake because while everyone is enjoying their 3 month break, you're kinda bombed with assignments and rushing to finish them during Christmas and New Years. Welcome to University! And your semester break is only 3 weeks. Perks of the October intake is that Uni is really empty and quiet, so you won't have to worry about fighting for space to study or to eat. Unfortunately, there are no activities or clubs to join during this period as well because everyone's on break but on the bright side you can focus purely on academics and get used to how things work.

My friends from MUFY were super welcoming and helped me survive my orientation week. Super thankful for them because I was a nervous wreck and was just all over the place. This is what happens when you choose to take a 3 month break in advance.

I definitely have no regrets joining the October intake. I managed to make a bunch of really good friends and had pretty fun lecturers. As mentioned earlier, I also got to focus mainly on academics and surprisingly did better than I expected for internals. It was challenging as most of the units were new to me and required a lot of reading. How I managed my time for each unit and the readings that came with it were super stressful and important.

In the midst of crazy assignments and classes, my friends and I still managed to have photoshoots. Love it, love them.

PC: @brokenxarts (Instagram)

I'm definitely looking forward for my next semester as we will be on the same track as the July intake and I get to see most of my friends after what felt like 100000 years. I'll be taking units such as Film Studies, Journalism, Research of Social Science and Communications. Some of them are new and some aren't, but reason to why I'm really looking forward to it is because 3 of the units are 100% internal which means I only have one paper to sit for during finals. Assignments > Final Exams any day.

R E S O L U T I O N S:

1) TRY NEW THINGS
Another reason why I'm looking forward to starting Uni again is because I plan to finally move my lazy butt and actually sign up for clubs and be more active in Uni. I can foresee it being pretty stressful having to balance life in the midst of this as it's gonna require a whole lot more of discipline and better time management but CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

2) SCHOLARSHIP!
Needless to say, who wouldn't want a scholarship to lighten the burden for your parents right?

3) BE MORE INTENTIONAL
It's not that I dislike meeting new people and making new friends (I actually love it!) but just didn't enter my first semester with the mindset of making a lot of friends or actually getting to know people, which I realised very much later how bad it was. So I'm gonna do the exact opposite for my second semester and actually be more intentional with people and grow existing relationships.

This is just one of the many updates I have and am gonna continuously update before my break ends. I'd be really surprise if I actually still have people reading this blog and am super thankful and love you very much, heh.

♥

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According to the online dictionary, the definition of the word mistake is as stated below.

"an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge"

In my opinion, making a mistake is like committing a crime. A mistake could lead to misunderstandings and fights. Making a mistake could potentially ruin a relationship. On a more positive note, a mistake helps you identify what you have done wrong and gives you a chance to learn from it. However, how many mistakes must you make until you actually learn from it? Could it be when you lose someone dear to you because of your selfishness and obliviousness? Could it be when you start to realise what kind of green eyed monster you have become? Or could it be when everything you do keeps falling apart no matter how hard you keep trying and suddenly you realise the mistakes you have been making all this while.

It has already been more than half a year, and I can say that I have made tons of mistakes in 2016. I have also repeated the same mistakes and have never seemed to learn from them. I have disappointed those around me and mainly myself. I wanna be transparent and honest here, not to vent out my feelings but as a reminder to those who are probably going through or feeling the same way and a reminder to my future self. One of the biggest mistakes that I often make is taking things for granted. Let's be real, it is a pretty common mistake that a lot of us tend to make. I have taken my friends for granted, those who have always been there and cared for me. I have taken what I have for granted, a great family, a roof over my head, food to eat and clothes to wear. I have taken my life for granted. The fact that I am healthy and able to live another day.

It took a bomb of the same mistakes to finally make me realise that I never truly learned from any of my previous mistakes even though I claimed that I did. It was all talk but no action. At the end of the day, it isn't about me but to those who chose to stay despite how I have treated them. My apologies were empty and did not mean anything in the long run. I disliked the person that I have become. Self-centered. I was only thinking of myself and putting myself before others. I became more and more sensitive to things that actually did not matter and grew with envy to those who seemed to have a better life and everything that I wanted. I felt that I had to constantly compete with others to keep up with them. Do I really want to be this kind of person?

I constantly put pressure on myself to be a better person but ended up becoming the complete opposite. It is tiring and discouraging to know that I have failed. However, I can choose to continue sinking deeper into my emotions or choose to come out of it and do something. I am generally a positive person (the irony since I am writing this, hah). Hence, I choose to come out of it and actually do something about it. To not just talk the talk, but take action. I am not perfect and neither will I be any close to perfection in the future. But as I live each day, I want to be someone who truly learns from mistakes made and slowly become a genuine person. I am sincerely sorry to those who I have hurt and to everything that I have taken granted of, do forgive me as I learn through this process. I am only human and will continue to make mistakes but I won't allow my mistakes to define me. It will hurt sometimes but I believe that God won't give me anything that I cannot handle. The same goes to any of you feeling the same way.

♥

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